So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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