My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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