The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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