the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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