I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
