turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
