Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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