so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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