I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
