I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ketchup is God's man juice
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
