sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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