Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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