I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
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Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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