the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
