**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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