she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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