If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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