very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
