He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize