her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize