I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
