I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Drunk is not a location!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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