my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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