ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My bed smells like the plague
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