I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize