Your face is a jimmy john
I will die if light touches me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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