the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Randomize
