I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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