p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i've created a new STD.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
