Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize