she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
