My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Boobs are out for the taking
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
