Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Tell her she can't have a vagina
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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