You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
