GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
