I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
