dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
