Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She said her name was "party"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
