Cold hands, warm shart.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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