Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
