Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
