I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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