Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize