But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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