dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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