my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
