Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The ass gains better be worth it
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