shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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