There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
