Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
