I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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