Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So many bounce houses so little time
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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