so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
