i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
