The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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