her vagine was all disorganized.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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