Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
