the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
