You're my little dorito
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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