really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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