you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
