I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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