remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
nutella sex= disaster
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
