I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
